You could get leaner obviously, but i wouldn't worry too much about the BMI, as although the body fat percentage is above what it could be, its not outrageously bad.
You say you wanted muscle definition, and i for that you obviously need to do some work with the weights, but its also about losing that existing layer of fat> This will give you that leaner look. The way to do that is to remember that fat loss is 80% diet, and only 20% exercise, so it will be hard to lose it all the time you're regularly eating takeaways or drinking a lot (alcohol in excess really piles on the calories).
As for the guys that look big but cant lift much, its probably genetic, as different people have different amounts of lean muscle, as well as different proportions of fast twitch fibers to slow twitch fibers. I wouldn't worry about that to be honest.


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