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Reply With QuoteKate Middleton says to the Queen, "What's the secret to a successful marriage?" Queen replies "Wear a seatbelt and don't pi55 me off."
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Thread: Only joking
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Only joking
#1 07-09-2011 01:50 AMMP Senior
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The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of my wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, " Yes."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus.
I said, "I know, but she has a lovely personality." -
#2 07-09-2011 01:51 AMMP Senior
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#3 07-09-2011 01:52 AMMP Senior
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- Jul 2010
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- 35
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I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would
like to come back as a cow". I said "you're obviously not listening." -
#4 07-09-2011 09:13 AMSuper Moderator
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I went on eBay yesterday and paid £45 for a one gallon bottle of Tippex. BIG mistake!
The Moderate Moderator
Disclaimer: All posts on these forums are for information and discussion purposes only and solely the views of the forum member who posted. No posts constitute or replace medical advice. Any information should be considered in regard to specific circumstances. All advice is followed at your own risk and should be followed up with your own research or doctors advice.
Wotan is a Super Moderator. -
#5 07-09-2011 09:15 AMSuper Moderator
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I hired this East European cleaner yesterday to do the house. She took FOUR hours just hoover the living room. Turns out she's a Slovac.
The Moderate Moderator
Disclaimer: All posts on these forums are for information and discussion purposes only and solely the views of the forum member who posted. No posts constitute or replace medical advice. Any information should be considered in regard to specific circumstances. All advice is followed at your own risk and should be followed up with your own research or doctors advice.
Wotan is a Super Moderator. -
#6 07-09-2011 09:21 AMSuper Moderator
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My wife has been missing for a week now. The police came round last night and told me that I ought to prepare for the worst. So I've had to go round to the charity shop this morning and buy all her clothes back.
The Moderate Moderator
Disclaimer: All posts on these forums are for information and discussion purposes only and solely the views of the forum member who posted. No posts constitute or replace medical advice. Any information should be considered in regard to specific circumstances. All advice is followed at your own risk and should be followed up with your own research or doctors advice.
Wotan is a Super Moderator. -
#7 07-09-2011 09:21 AMSuper Moderator
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Can anyone tell I'm bored?
The Moderate Moderator
Disclaimer: All posts on these forums are for information and discussion purposes only and solely the views of the forum member who posted. No posts constitute or replace medical advice. Any information should be considered in regard to specific circumstances. All advice is followed at your own risk and should be followed up with your own research or doctors advice.
Wotan is a Super Moderator. -
#8 07-09-2011 09:29 AM
Ha ha ha!
You're bored? I've got three weeks off work with no driving and not being able to walk!
USE REFERRAL CODE MP16378 FOR 5% OFF YOUR FIRST ORDER!
You can view my videos here. You can view my journal here.
Disclaimer: All posts on these forums are for information and discussion purposes only and solely the views of the forum member who posted. No posts constitute or replace medical advice. Any information should be considered in regard to specific circumstances. All advice is followed at your own risk and should be followed up with your own research or doctors advice.
Martin Brown is a Training and Diet Moderator. -
#9 07-09-2011 10:38 AM** Member
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- Jul 2007
- Location
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A farmer drove past me in his tractor yesterday and stopped and shouted 'the end of the world is nigh'
I said to my wife, that must be Farmer Geddon -
#10 07-09-2011 10:21 PMMP Senior
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
- Location
- North East
- Age
- 35
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- 967
My wife gave me a lecture about my obsession with mythical creature puns.
It didn't half Dragon.
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